Track official snaps at motocross race.

nitrofish

nitrofish

PR Addict
8.8.13. On this day my son's goldfish was murdered. He was a good fish that lived a simple life as a carney at a county fair. He lived in a small bowl amongst other bowls just waiting to be the "chosen" one. Then it happened, a small toe head of a boy gleaming with pride pointed to him. "I want that one, the orange one!" the little boy said. The little fish was finally free as the toothless carney placed him in his new temporary plastic bag mobile home. The little boy held onto the bag tight, beaming with pride and filled with happiness. He had never owned a pet before and he just could not wait to show his friends. The little fish was gleaming orange as bright as the sun in his little mobile home, dreaming of new places and wondering what his new beloved owner would call him. The first person the boy showed his new friend to was a motocross track official at the county fair. "Look" he said. "I have a new pet and I am going to name him Jarrett, because he is orange like your hair!" Oh, the little goldfish was so happy. "I have a name" he thought. The scene could not have been more wonderful. Happiness filled the air. All of the sudden the track official must have snapped! Was it due to his disdain of quad riders? Was it because he and the fish now shared the same first name? We may never know, but what happened next will make you cry. At some point during this assemblage, the human Jarrett took a swing at goldfish Jarrett. This caused the little boy to loose control of his beloved package. The package went crashing to the ground. Goldfish Jarrett's mobile home plummeted 120 goldfish feet to the hard Holmes county earth. A violent explosion of water and plastic ensued. Golfish Jarrett now lay on the dry, dusty field of vastness gasping for air. Human Jarrett stood in awe. The little boy frozen with emotion never said a word. Goldfish Jarrett flopped helplessly on the ground. What caused the official to snap? We may never know. We do know that the dreams of a little boy were crushed like his new friend's mobile home. We do know that the happiness of a goldfish was short lived. Rest in peace Goldfish Jarrett, we will miss you.
 

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Bahahahahaha... Stop it.... I have tears in my eyes.. You should have marched the red head right over to that carnival game and made him stay there till another was won!! Jarrett... I am just shocked...
 
I have lost all respect for you Jarrett.

I feel a 18 paragraph response looming in the future, rambling nonsensically about nothing by the end.......
 
Motocross Most Wanted - $5,000 Reward - Ginger At Large! We need your help to bring this crazed, soulless, ginger in to custody to make him face justice. He is guilty of one count of fish homicide in the first degree, one count of being soulless by breaking a boys heart, and one count of unsportsmanship like conduct. He is crazy and dangerous. We are not sure of his motives...we do know that He has openly been frustrated about the single life, he has openly bashed on the quad community, he doesn't ride, and he is always bullying little kids. Our best guess is that this man is confused and frustrated on so many levels due to no riding, no companionship and ill tempered mini-parents! We believe in equal rights so his hatred for quads is completely uncalled for!!! They love to ride too! This man is described as tall, red-hair, goofy looking, crooked teeth and kinda walks like Sasquatch! His last known whereabouts are uncertain but was recently reported to been trying to organize an international ginger convention. He may be disquised as Ronald McDonald, Happy the Clown, the Jolly Red Giant, or Opie Taylor. This man is so far off the hook that he may try to blend in as a quad rider or a preacher! If you see this man...be sure to roost him DEAD! We don't need gingers like that! We gotta take care of this fool ol'fashion like! He is a menace to society!
 
MXCrusader617 said:
Motocross Most Wanted - $5,000 Reward - Ginger At Large! We need your help to bring this crazed, soulless, ginger in to custody to make him face justice. He is guilty of one count of fish homicide in the first degree, one count of being soulless by breaking a boys heart, and one count of unsportsmanship like conduct. He is crazy and dangerous. We are not sure of his motives...we do know that He has openly been frustrated about the single life, he has openly bashed on the quad community, he doesn't ride, and he is always bullying little kids. Our best guess is that this man is confused and frustrated on so many levels due to no riding, no companionship and ill tempered mini-parents! We believe in equal rights so his hatred for quads is completely uncalled for!!! They love to ride too! This man is described as tall, red-hair, goofy looking, crooked teeth and kinda walks like Sasquatch! His last known whereabouts are uncertain but was recently reported to been trying to organize an international ginger convention. He may be disquised as Ronald McDonald, Happy the Clown, the Jolly Red Giant, or Opie Taylor. This man is so far off the hook that he may try to blend in as a quad rider or a preacher! If you see this man...be sure to roost him DEAD! We don't need gingers like that! We gotta take care of this fool ol'fashion like! He is a menace to society!
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SMH....Justice will be served...I promise. I hear that Barney Fife has just loaded his single bullet. With God as my witness, I shall bring down the GingerHead man.
 
nitrofish said:
Ohio does not have a Good Samaritan law. I personally did not want to turn orange or somthing from touching Jarrett's lips, goldfish Jarrett that is.
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Jarrett was DOI...dead on impact! No chance or survival, we tried and failed (not CPR although I am certified.) BUT, from what I have been told it is good luck to rub red hair. I was a cable guy once and was on the job at an inner city apartment complex in the suburbs of Canton. This old black woman approaches me and strikes up a conversation! I was younger and skiddish, but kept talking with her. When I was about to leave she makes the remark that it is good luck to rub someone's red hair. I said "that's cool, didn't know that" and she then asks if she can rub my hair. I said sure and bent over a little and she was as happy as a dog getting a belly rub...I dunno, it made her day! :)

BTW...what does "SMH" mean?
 
MXCrusader617 said:
Jarrett was DOI...dead on impact! No chance or survival, we tried and failed (not CPR although I am certified.) BUT, from what I have been told it is good luck to rub red hair. I was a cable guy once and was on the job at an inner city apartment complex in the suburbs of Canton. This old black woman approaches me and strikes up a conversation! I was younger and skiddish, but kept talking with her. When I was about to leave she makes the remark that it is good luck to rub someone's red hair. I said "that's cool, didn't know that" and she then asks if she can rub my hair. I said sure and bent over a little and she was as happy as a dog getting a belly rub...I dunno, it made her day! :)

BTW...what does "SMH" mean?
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she was probably a hooker, no wonder you're single. Lol!
 
Today we laid Goldfish Jarrett to rest and hopefully this thread!

Eulogy:

Jarrett was a fine fish from the fair,
he was murdered by a man with red hair.
All is forgiven and no grudges to hold,
Jarrett is now six feet under and probably no longer gold.
 

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